Sharing Our Shame Frees Us From It!
Bringing our shame stories into the light, is what heals them.
Hi Beautiful Beings!
There I was, having a fabulous time with my wife at a Dave Matthews Band concert, when the voice of shame infiltrated my mind. Although it’s quiet, it’s quite insistent, persistent, and demanding. Shame likes to take centerstage and drowns everything else out. It’s like a mythological siren—while part of you knows it’s going to wreck you; you also find it quite hard to resist.
Do you know what I mean? Can you relate? Does shame sometimes drag you down, or threaten to carry you away?
That night, an ongoing shame story of mine definitely did its bests to ruin the moment. You see, I have this whole storyline related to how my visual disability makes me look drunk to others.
Shame is like Satan. It tells us just enough truth to convince us it’s right, and mixes it with enough lies to convince us we are broken and wrong.
Since 2008, when in a surreal chain of events I ended up plummeting 30-feet off a cliff headfirst, I’ve been visually impaired. More specifically, I have no depth perception or peripheral vision. Can you imagine? My visual world is 2D instead of 3D, and I only see half what ordinary people do in my field of vision.
Because of this visual impairment: I bump into others A LOT, stumble frequently in unfamiliar territory, move slower, need to “weirdly” pivot my head around to see to the left and right, run into things by mistake, and exhibit other seemingly drunken behaviors. Especially when I’m in crowds, such “buffoonery”—aka, quite literally the way I am as a disabled person—results in part of me wondering: What do others make of my clumsiness? Do they think I’m some kind of stumbling drunken loser, addict, or worse?
Oh, the terrible things we can tell ourselves!
Whether we got it from society, others, ourselves, and/or something else; shame is that deep seeded sense that there is something fundamentally wrong with us. Do you know what I mean?
Along those lines, I referenced “Satan” above, because I’ve long found a hot tip about the big demon down under, to be universally true. One of the greatest lies whispered in our heads, which threatens to drag us into a downward spiral, is: I’m the only one with this problem, struggle, fault, etc.
Shame, in this regard, attempts to lock us into a life of solitary confinement. It seals our lips from revealing our issues to others, while leading us to point fingers at—instead of hold hands with—those who do manage to share the scary bits inside of them.
What’s the cure then? What soothes our shame? Fabulously, the answer is why I shared one of my shame stories with y’all! Sharing is shame’s kryptonite, because:
Sharing our inner truth sets us free, because: The Light of awareness is where healing, freedom, redemption, purpose, and wholeness reside.
Along those lines, I frequently end my blogs/musings with an invitation for others to share, respond, reflect, engage, and so on. Shame tells me I do it “wrong”, because that rarely happens. Isn’t that interesting?
With that in mind, I leave you with what I originally wrote as the beginning:
Have you heard Edwin Starr’s iconic song: “War (What is It Good For)”? I believe his chorus also applies to shame:
Shame … huh … yeah.
What is it good for?
Absolutely Nothing.
May the weights of your shame melt away under the brightness of sharing’s sun. Leaving you free to fly as we are intended to!
Hugs & Love,
Lang (aka “Dr. Love”)