Putting Things to Bed
How we untangle the knots that keep us restless—and return to ourselves
Hi beloved one. How are you?
It’s not uncommon for my partner to be half, or fully, asleep by the time I slide into bed at night. Not because we’re on different schedules, though. We actually start getting ready for bed at the same time. I just happen to take longer to unwind, and get ready.
The other night, as I went about my routine of taking the recycle out (it’s six days a week in Sicily), laying out my workout clothes for the next day, brushing my teeth, stretching my back and shoulders, keeping my Duolingo streak going, and clearing my mind of anything still lingering in it, I realized:
It’s important to put things to “bed”.
Because
To renew and be fully refreshed, one needs to untangle and relax any mental, emotional, physical, relational, occupational, and spiritual “knots” in their system.
The cool thing about this, is it applies not only to getting ready for bed, but also to getting ready for life!
Earlier this year, for instance, I felt tied-up and twisted inside over how to proceed on the business side of life coaching and soul care. There are quite a few ways to crack that nut, so to speak, which, quite frankly, overwhelmed me a bit.
What loosened things up, though, was deciding on one specific course of action. Namely to focus my efforts on reworking, developing content for, hosting workshops about, and publishing the book I wrote for my doctorate, The Love Effect: Transcending Division Through Curiosity, Courage, and Care.
While putting that anxiety to bed, honestly took way longer than I wish it would have (shout out to my life coach for greatly aiding me there), let’s look at a more mundane example. You know how our thought bubbles can sometimes become more like claws, or record players on repeat in our minds?
Typically, when a concern, to-do, or idea arises within me, instead of letting it capture me. I do my best to quickly capture it, by filing it in one of my reminder lists, sharing it with my partner, or emailing it to myself for later consideration. Honestly, that’s what I did when the concept of putting things to bed occurred to me that night.
Naturally, this isn’t always, or even often, a one-and-done type of deal. When I married Lisa nine-plus years ago, I became a stepdad to three adult children, as well as step-granddad to, what’s become, eight grandchildren. Full disclosure, navigating and figuring out what it means to be a “step” is simultaneously confusing, beautiful, complicated, heart-warming, messy, marvelous, and SO worth it!
Although I definitely cannot say I’ve “arrived”, and am still learning and growing in this area. I can for sure declare that Lisa’s kids and grandkids are incredible, I love them more than words, and I am committed to continually growing closer to them.
On that note, I can’t help but observe how:
Love is like a perfectly crafted, and accessorized, bed. Our cares, worries, and selves, can always find rest in Her arms.
I find this notion of metaphorically putting things to bed so powerful, because our thoughts are things. The mental, emotional, and other energies that arise within us, take up space, have weight, move around, and make noise within us. Which reminds me of when the air force trained me for the possibility of being captured by an enemy.
At one point in Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape (SERE) training in Fairchild AFB, Washington, they do their best to treat all the students like they’re prisoners of war. Overnight, they locked us in cells that were too cramped to do anything other than sit, squat, or stand in. Only, if they caught us sitting, they’d scream at us, hit our door with a rod, and tell us to get our “butts” back up.
Even worse, they’d play the most obnoxious sounding music and noises, the worst of which was a baby crying in that ear splitting way. Only, they never did any of these long enough for you to start to drown them out. They not only changed the noises, but interspersed them with periods of silence. Just long enough for you to dose off, a new sound startled you awake.
I bring this up because the thoughts and feelings that stick their talons in us, and keep running circles around in our minds, are akin to the torturous things our instructors did to us at SERE. They rob us of our peace. They steal our clarity, stymie our rest, crowd our minds, and deprive us of being fully and freely our most authentically amazing selves.
Do you know what I mean, friend?
Is there anything you’d like to put to bed?
Where did this take you, and/or what would you add to the conversation?
Hugs & Love,
Lang
My first workshop for The Love Effect is on June 8th, and I’m SO excited. Here’s the link for you to check it out, and sign up if you wish:
https://www.companioningcenter.org/course/the-love-effect-workshop-june-8-2026
You are the pilot of your life. And, as a life coach, soul friend, and yoga teacher, I help you steer it into an upward spiral of love. If you’d like to learn more, or book a session, you can do so at my website below:
https://lightlovelang.offeringtree.com
Lastly, before you go, please let us know what this stirred up within you in the comments below. You matter, and we’d love to hear your thoughts! Also, please don’t forget to “like” 🤍 and share/restack this post if it spoke to you. And most importantly, you’re amazing and I hope you have a beautiful day!