Oh the Things We Believe About Ourselves

Reflecting on how the stories we tell about ourselves—I am ____, I’m just ____, and so on—become prisons of sorts. And how we can break free from them.

Hi beautiful being,

As an enthusiast, I tend to pack my days full. So much so, that when it comes to meetings, life coaching or soul care sessions, getting together with friends, etc.; I often have to hurry to be on time. That’s just the way I am, I told myself. Which, as you might imagine, created something of a feedback loop:

I’d arrive just on time, or a skosh late, to an event. Which reinforced my belief that I just run on the late side of things. Which allowed me to keep stuffing my days full, maximizing every moment. Which led to me arriving just on time, or a skosh late … and on it went.

Likewise, for decades I self-identified as a runner, because I loved it. Then, in the summer of 2020, I started dreading it. Yet, because I was a runner, I kept making myself hit the road five days a week. Running was just what I did—whether I liked it or not. After a run, I’d even find myself rushing to be on time to teach my yoga class, because I’d used as much time as I could to log the most miles possible.

Isn’t that hilarious, friend? Do you have any similar stories?

The thing is, though, these stories I told about myself weren’t facts. They were limiting, self-imposed constraints—even when I couldn’t see that. My dear friend Rachel has a saying that aided me here: I give myself permission to _____. So, in 2021 I gave myself permission to not be a runner, and only run if I felt like it.

Now, remember the feedback loop I described above? It can both work against you, like in my example, and for you. For an inner change to really take hold and blossom in your life: It’s important to not only rewrite your story or belief, but to also take actions and create experiences that reinforce it.

When I stopped being “a runner”, I started riding our Peloton bike to satisfy my cardio fix. The action drove my new belief about myself, and vice versa. Recently, rewriting my timeliness narrative has been a similar process. To amplify the storyline that I am early and leave space in my days, I now purposefully cut off my doings in order to be no less than five minutes early for any event. Now, while I can’t say I’ve been that early 100% of the time, I have been at least a little early. More importantly, though, I haven’t had to rush or hurry to make it. The spacious calm that’s created inside of me has been quite lovely.

Enough about me though, friends. I share my stories, musings, reflections, and such to bless and benefit you. What stood out to you? What storylines of yours do you want to rewrite? What’s one that you already revamped? I’m keen to hear from you in the comments!

Hugs & Love,

Lang (aka “Dr. Love”)

P.S. Did you know that clicking the “like” button 🤍 helps other people find this post—while bringing a smile to my face? Also, if you think this could aid anyone, please consider sharing and/or “restacking” it. And above all, remember: You are amazing, and I hope you have a beautiful day!