Living Your Dream is Hard Work … But, if You Try it, You Might Love it

Taking the proverbial “leap” is scary, hard, and stressful, but—no matter how it turns out—it’s more than worth it.

Lisa and I got the chance of a lifetime. My wife works for the Department of Defense (DoD), and about a year ago applied for a job based in Sicily … and got it! Along with a promotion! What is more, while we’ll be stationed here—I’m writing this from the triangular shaped tropical island—Lisa’s work is in Scotland, so we’ll be there roughly three-quarters of the time. It’s literally a dream come true!

Yet, it turns out, even dreams have downsides.

You know how, when it comes to living a great life, we often talk about how you have to “take a leap”? Barely two months into our European adventure, that—and more—rings true to me. The image that came to me is that: Stepping into your dream, is like being the hero of an action movie. You know the scene. The protagonist is on their way to win the day, but is faced with a seemingly impossible gap they must leap across. So, they jump … and just barely make it, thanks to their grit, determination, and good fortune. Panting and out of breath, that’s when the hero battles the bad guy. And it’s only after winning this struggle, that they reach their goal. In short:

First, the leap. Then, the stressful in-between that requires determination. Next, the struggle. Finally, the celebration.

This, seems to me to be the pattern when it comes to stepping into your goals, passions, and dreams. Only it’s not necessarily linear, and tends to repeat itself. I know we’ve had varying degrees of leap, stress, struggle, and celebration, the whole way through. And, we’ve already cycled through this paradigm more than once!

(Parting with my recently graduated kiddo was tough!)

Now, before I continue, I need to pause and give props to Jen Traxel whose invitation encouraged me to write this (you can check out her wonderful offerings at “Return to Self”), as well as Jason Mraz. The chorus of his song “You Might Like It” inspired this post’s title and theme.

On our way to one of, roughly, thirty-eight appointments we’ve had for in-processing and getting set up in Sicily—Lisa and I talked about how frustrating and stressful aspects of this journey have been, and continue to be. For instance, due to the way her life had played out over her five-plus decades on earth, Lisa had never lived alone. At least not until her first month here (I got to stay behind for a previous commitment). Although it was a bit scary and hard, Lisa quite enjoyed the freedom that came with it.

On the flip side, since I stayed behind in the U.S., I was in charge of our household goods getting packed and moved out. While that sentence was quite simple to type, the whole process of disabled me going through all our stuff to sort out what would be shipped to Sicily, put in storage, donated, or thrown out—and then seeing all that through—was overwhelming! I felt like I was in the deep end of the stress pool, and had to give myself pep talks! 🤣 I can’t tell you how many times I literally told myself: “You got a doctorate, Lang. You can do this!”

Words can’t describe how light and free I felt when I was done with that! Which, is when the grief started in earnest. Although I anticipated it being hard to “say goodbye” to my people (cue the hit Boyz II Men song), parting with our dog, Biscuits, really snuck up on me. I’m tearing up now, remembering the last moments we shared together cuddling on the kitchen floor. My heart also swells recalling when Lisa said arrivederci to two of her grandkids and one of her children. There were SO many tears! And parting with my sister—she’s been my rock, and vice versa, our whole lives. Whew! That just about did me in … and I’m forever grateful that we ended up getting to do it three times.

(Sister and I)

(It would be a delight to hear from, and connect with you!)

In the months leading up to our departures, my biggest hope/prayer was to “end” well with all our people. (Again, my eyes are doing silly watery things) I believe we did that. We had so many sweet moments with the many people near and dear to us! The times that leave your heart simultaneously filled, and aching. Snapshots of parting with my adult kiddo, the rest of my family, Lisa’s family, and our dear friends, are forever etched on my heart. 🫶🏽

Honestly, that gets at one of the hardest parts of this adventure. Being more than a literal ocean apart from our circle. Thank God for today’s technology that allows us to stay in touch! What is more, the people here in Sicily are SO kind, welcoming, and generous! Time and time again, Lisa and I are treated like family. It’s really quite beautiful.

(Isn’t my mom adorable?)

Naturally, living amongst a people who speak a different language, and have a different culture from us, does also leave us feeling like fish out of water sometimes … or more. That said, Lisa and I continue to put in the work to learn Italian—we have 250+ day streaks on Duolingo. Even though our vocabulary is limited, we can tell (and are sometimes told) how much the locals appreciate it. Our doing our best to speak and learn Italian, creates a warmth between us and “them”.

All of this, and more, was bubbling underneath the surface of our conversation in the car I mentioned above. For instance, I hadn’t really considered how virtually all our routines would have to shift and change. I have to say, while that was a bit unsettling, it was also quite nice to take the time to reevaluate and reinvent my habits.

And, what Lisa and I were discussing in particular that morning was finances. Specifically, how the DoD has made it a quite difficult and lengthy process to get reimbursed for host of expenses associated with moving continents. Costs they promised to pay us! It’s honestly ridiculous. But we’re not giving up or getting down—recognizing this struggle is part of the aforementioned “hero’s journey”.

With all of that in mind: In the end, while I anticipate our European adventure will be magical. I also have no way of knowing how it will turn out. That said, I do know: I love that we leapt, are here, and are living our dream.

Hugs & Love,

Lang (aka “Dr. Love”)