“I am ________” The Most Beautiful and Brutal Words We Tell Ourselves

What we tell ourselves we are, shapes and defines us in profound ways.

Two of the most powerful words are, “I am”. This is because: Whatever you repeatedly tell yourself you are, simultaneously molds and holds you. Whether you speak it verbally, or in your head; I am _____” statements are like a software programming code. Only, instead of running a computer program, they run your life!

I know that’s a bold statement. Yet, as I look back on my life, I see how frequently my “I am” proclamations shaped my destiny. For instance, when I was in the air force, my job was to defend our country. Since I was quite committed to the cause—and endeavored to be as good at my role as possible—I repeatedly told myself, and others, “I am a warfighter.” While this helped me become quite good at my job, it hindered my ability to love well.

“I am” declarations both shape and fix a person. In my case, it increasingly molded me into a warfighter, while also holding me in that mentality. And, since violence is antithetical to love, this radically limited my access to kindness, care, compassion, and empathy.

The ways what and who we tell ourselves we are molds and holds us into an identity, happen in big and small ways. While my warfighting spirit fell into the bigger, and longer lasting category; yesterday afternoon, because of all the things going on that day, I kept thinking: “I am stressed.” And, as you might imagine, that mantra did nothing but make me MORE stressed! Do you know what I mean?

The good news about this is: You have voice and choice! This means, you can always change the story you tell about yourself—thereby redirecting the course of your life.

After my second divorce, I was a bit of a wreck. The narrative in my mind was: “I am unloved and unlovable.” This negatively affected all aspects of my life. Do you know what changed? I took five minutes every day to reprogram my mind, by simply reminding myself of the Truth: “I am loved, and beloved.” Over time, the impact of this was extraordinary. It completely changed my life—and I’m not exaggerating at all. On a conscious, as well as subconscious level; telling myself “I am loved,” cultivated a person who felt loved, who then was able to easily and eagerly share love with others.

With that said, I wonder: What “I am” statements do you tell yourself? Do they lift you up, or drag you down? What ways can you shift and change the stories in your head about yourself?

Something yoga has helped me realize is that while I have thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations, I am not my thoughts, emotions, or body. Instead:

I am the witness to my thoughts, emotions, and body. As are you.

You and I have the ability to “step back” and observe our thoughts, emotions, sensations, reactions, etc. While it is quite easy to get caught up by, and identify ourselves with any (or all) of those things inside of us. The Truth is, we are not them. We are the loving witness to them.

A helpful way to put that to ourselves when it comes to our stresses, celebrations, struggles, triumphs, and beyond is: “I am witnessing _____.” Your mind is your strongest muscle. May you and I put it to loving use!

Hugs & Love,

Lang (aka “Dr. Love”)