Humility and Curiosity is the Answer
The less certain we are about our views, beliefs, and thoughts, the more loving we can become.
Shortly before I flew away for our invasion of Iraq in 2003; with compassion in her eyes, a dear friend of mine asked: “How are you doing? How are you feeling about going away to war?” I don’t remember what all I said to Martha, but I do recall being a bit surprised—and pausing to ponder—before I declared: “There’s evil in the world, and I feel good about going over there to help fight it.”
I was so certain.
Yet, precisely because of that certainty, so very wrong.
Along those lines, while I was out for a run, listening to Falling into Grace: Insights on the End of Suffering by Adyashanti, something hit me. You know how, akin to a rock hitting a windshield, all of a sudden, an insight can strike and disrupt your mind—only in a much more helpful manner than the rock? That’s what happened to me! I realized the story of Adam and Eve, is a story about us. Not only does it give insight into the problems that plague us—individually, communally, and globally—it holds a key that can help us unlock the door to a solution.
As the story goes, Adam and Eve lived in the paradise we all long for. And in the Garden of Eden, there was a rule: Don’t eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for the day you do, you will die.
Naturally, the crafty serpent recognized us humans have a crazy hard time resisting something forbidden to us. So, while Adam was silently in tow, the snake essentially told Eve: “Let me let you in on a little secret. Not only will the fruit not kill you, it will open your eyes and make you like God! It’s forbidden not to protect you, but to limit you!”
So, Eve takes and eats the fruit, before giving some to Adam. It’s important to note, until this point in the story, Eve and Adam walked around naked and unashamed. Yet, upon eating the fruit they’re like: “Oh my gosh! Eek! Cover that up!”Which, they immediately do.
Then, when the Creator of All Things comes to hang out with them, they hide. Naturally, this doesn’t go on for long, and the Source of Life proceeds to ask them: “What’s going on with you two?” Adam essentially points his finger at both God and Eve by saying: “Well, the woman that you gave to be with me gave me the fruit.” Likewise, Eve then proceeds to blame-shift by saying, “The serpent tricked me.”
Can you spot some of the ways this is a story about you and I?
Craving what we don’t, or can’t, have.
Our desire to “play God”.
The way shame diminishes us.
Our propensity to blame and divide from others.
The central “aha moment” for me from this story, revolves around the way you and I “play God” without even realizing it. What opened my eyes to this was how the serpent connected the knowledge of good and evil, to being “like God”. Consider how:
Each of us presupposes that our thoughts and beliefs are correct. In other words, we are convinced our way is right—meaning, we have determined what/who is “good”, versus what/who is “evil”.
Do you see what I mean? Sure, we often point to laws, scriptures, authorities, etc. as the basis for our beliefs. But, in the end, we can find laws, scriptures, authorities, etc. that back up what we have decided is right versus wrong. That said, none of us is an island. Everything I’m sharing here is simultaneously an individualistic, and communal endeavor.
I highlight the collective element of this, because: The views of your “tribe”, aka the group/groups of people you align with (such as left, right, Christian, humanist, yogi, runner, mountaineer, etc.), carry an extra weight. Being a part of a group who thinks the same way we do, makes us even more certain our beliefs—on everything from economics, to racism, to sexuality, to gender, to global politics, to global warming, and beyond—are 100% correct.
Remember in the story how, in a blink of an eye, Eve and Adam went from naked and unashamed, to being horrified their “naughty bits” were showing? And, notice how the tree they ate from was only good and evil? I point this out because, although us humans prefer to be black and white in our thinking—thus categorizing people, issues, etc. as either right/good or wrong/evil—the vast majority of life is messy, complex, and not one or the other.
The upshot of this is:
To make sure you and I stay on the side of “right” and “good”, we much prefer blaming or scapegoating others, to humbly owning our stuff and embracing the complexity of life.
Case in point, yesterday my wife and I did a shadowboxing workout together—in the living room at our Air BnB. “Hook with your front hand,” the instructor called, moments before my left knuckle collided with the side of a door I couldn’t see. Do you know what my first impulse was? To blame Lisa! How crazy, yet normal is that?!
This brings us full circle. Do you recall how the consequence of eating the forbidden fruit was “death”? This metaphorical, yet all too real, warning pertains to us too. When you and I are convinced our thoughts and beliefs are correct—over and against others. When we divide into tribes of likeminded folk. When we forget life isn’t black or white, but a rainbow of diversity and complexity. When we blame and scapegoat others. Death—as in division, along with verbal, emotional, economic, and physical violence—is the result.
We see it plastered all over the news.
Yet, you and I can be the change. We can choose to eat from a different tree—one ripe with humility and curiosity. Whereas what we’ve unpacked above drives us apart and puts us at odds, these two mentalities are glue that brings us together.
While certainty is a rigid spirit that forms boundaries, casts out, and builds walls; humility is open, welcoming, warm, and accepting. Likewise, although finger-pointing pushes away, shames, hurts, and offends; curiosity moves toward, lifts up, heals, and encourages.
Before you go, beloved reader, do you know anyone this could bless or benefit? Please share this offering with them—and click the 🤍 button so I know this resonated with you. I also always love to hear from you in the comments below. You are amazing, and I hope you have a beautiful day!
Hugs & Love,
Lang (aka“Dr. Love”)