Gifting Ourselves Second Chances

To err is to be human. To learn and grow from it, is to become more fully alive!

The following post is part of a Seed Pod collaboration about failure. Seed Pods are a SmallStack community project designed to help smaller publications lift each other up by publishing and cross-promoting around a common theme. We’re helping each other plant the seeds for growth!

Hi beautiful being,

Today, I’m grateful we live in a world of second chances. My partner and I were lucky enough to see Lenny Kravitz’s first stop on his European tour. For his encore; we collectively jammed, danced, and sang to his song “Let Love Rule”, for at least fifteen minutes. It was one of those deeply powerful, sacred, and moving experiences that stick with you for years.

The only problem was—instead of being fully present, and allowing myself to be carried-away by the spirit of the music—I let my thoughts keep taking me out of the moment. Even though I yearned to immerse myself in that time with Lenny and the crowd; I found myself repeatedly thinking about how I’d describe it to others, what I’d write about it, and so on.

I can’t tell you how many times I was like, “stop thinking about the experience, and be in the experience, Lang!” Yet, each time I let my thought bubbles go, and started to get into the flow of things; those pesky ruminations came scurrying back to snatch me away again.

Leaving the concert, even though much of me was buzzing in the afterglow of a thoroughly enjoyable evening—part of me had this nagging feeling I’d missed out on an opportunity to taste transcendence.

Thank God for second chances, friend! The life coaching program I am SO close to completing, emphasizes becoming aware of how our thoughts and emotions have an energy to them that profoundly impacts us. The gift of this awareness is it allows us to then consciously choose thoughts that raise our level of energy.

This enabled me to see how the nagging voice in my head was leading me into victimhood and frustration—which manifest low levels of energy, and drag you down. Each time I felt this downward spiral begin to spin up, I decided to shift my thinking to be more empowering. I made the choice to view my misstep at the concert as a reminder to be more fully present in the future.

As fate would have it, a mere two days later I did Leanne Hainsby-Alldis’ Valentine’s Day ride on the Peloton—and found myself transported to another place by the sweet combination of music, movement, love, and positivity! Getting this do over, of sorts, reminds me that:

After realizing we’ve messed up, missed the mark, or made a mistake—we have three options: Let it drag us down, do nothing, or embrace it as an opportunity to learn and grow. While often a part of us will try to beat ourselves up, and/or blame others; our True Self will recognize our “failure” for what it really is. A chance to reflect and become better!

A key piece of this to remember is that—even when we start down the victimhood, finger-pointing, or status quo path—the “door” to second chances remains open to us. In my first marriage, we reached a tipping point that led to my eventual ex separating from me, and putting divorce on the table. This was utterly devastating to me! Not only did I not see it coming—barring something extreme—I’d ruled divorce out as any kind of option.

With my world turned on its head—for a good stretch of time—I found myself in a deep downward spiral, energetically speaking. At first, in that mindset I waffled between self-pity and anger. One moment I’d think I was the worst person in the world. The next, I’d “righteously” believe she was.

Eventually, though, I found myself squarely in Victimhoodville, population: 1. Honestly, I got so buried in this space—unable to see a way out—that I wanted to die. Although I never planned to end things on purpose, there were many times that I longed for an accidental death.

(From Inspiring Quotes)

That’s when “Love came to town” (cue U2 and BB King’ song). Love was the lifeline that rescued me from my downward spiral. As I was drowning in despair; my friends and family leaped into the proverbial waters, pulled me to shore, and breathed life into me again.

Their lovingkindness helped boost me through the door of second chances. I embraced the whole journey of separation-reunion-divorce, as a chance to become a kinder, and more compassionate, understanding, and loving person.

The life coaching school I’m in, iPEC, has a list of principles that help people thrive. The first one is: “You cannot make a mistake.” When I first heard this, I was like: Umm, but what about all the times I’ve hurt someone, made a poor choice, and so on? Those seem like mistakes to me. But during a training intensive, the lead helped me realize how the so called “mistakes” in my life, are quite literally the very things that have helped me become more caring, kind, compassionate, understanding, curious, wise, cheerful, and loving. In other words, they were lessons and opportunities.

The key is to see them as such. To realize what a great gift second chances are—and give ourselves that grace!

Friend, what did this stir up in you? It would be a true blessing to hear from you in the comments. And please “like” 🤍, and consider sharing/restacking this post if it spoke to you.

For anyone interested—in addition to writing—I teach yoga online (my live-streaming classes are free/pay what you want), life coach (I have two free sessions for anyone interested), and provide soul care. Just click the links to check out what I have to offer, and sign up.

Hugs & Love,

Lang (aka “Dr. Love”)

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