Fierce Hope

The jolly, festive, colorful nature of the Christmas season, is a reminder to keep going and hoping when things are dark, cold, and gloomy.

Christmastime calls us to fierce hope. It is a reminder that the Light shines most brightly amidst the darkest of darks. This cold and gloomy season—which, we cheerfully decorate with colorful lights—invites us to be determined and keep going, because brighter days are ahead.

It’s no accident that Christmas is so close to the Winter Solstice. For hundreds and thousands of years, cultures have celebrated the shortest day of the year with all of the above in mind. So, as Christianity began to grow and take shape in the Roman Empire, its practitioners married the birth of Christ to the solstice celebration (at the time, the Roman’s had the solstice on the wrong date).

So, with that in mind, let’s talk about today. Isn’t it crazy how much our world mirrors the cold bleakness of these winter days? I’ll list but a few:

The mental health crisis that’s dragging our children and young adults down is staggering. Without going into the jaw-dropping statistics of this, I’ll simply say: The parents I know who don’t have children suffering from serious anxiety, depression, suicidal ideations, gender dysphoria, and/or other issues, are the exception! This epidemic is very real and personal to me. As I send love and light to the people I know, my aching heart cries out: Why?!

What in the world is going on in Israel? When are both sides going to stop killing innocent civilians? When are both sides going to stop killing? While I get how their divides run deep, and have gone on for ages, my spirit still yearns for peace, understanding, and unity.

Speaking of divides: How are we doing America? To say the political polarization in our nation is a problem, is an understatement. Given, “a house divided cannot stand,” one wonders how long do we have?

The economic situation in our country certainly doesn’t help soothe this issue. It seems to me it costs twice as much to eat out as it did just a couple, or few, years ago—and I don’t think that’s all that far off the truth. Inflation is rampant. Interest rates are high. Personal debt is weighing people down. For many, these are economically uncertain times.

While it wouldn’t be hard to continue on this downward spiral, I bet you get the point. As soul-sucking as these realities may seem, it’s vital to remember:

Your life flows the direction your attention goes.

What we think, speak, watch, and focus on has a momentum to it. The more we center ourselves on what’s wrong in life—and there are always things—the more wrong we feel. For instance, coming out of my second divorce, I felt rejected, unloved, and unlovable. The more I dwelled and ruminated on this story, the more horrible I felt on the inside. What changed me from the inside-out was, quite simply, changing the direction of my attention to: Included, loved, and treasured.

In other words: Centering our attention on what’s wrong in the “world”—from ourselves, to our families, to our circles, to communities, nations, and the planet—will not help things get better. And here’s where it gets tricky, though. Optimism and positivity that ignore the darkness that runs through us all, won’t benefit our situation either. That’s being idealistic, which is quite important, without being realistic, which is also vital.

This brings me to fierce hope.

Fierce hope is a long, loving look at the real—which is brutal and beautiful—that keeps believing, and taking actions to help, love win.

As humans, we are what we “eat”. What we take in visually, auditorily, mentally, spiritually, relationally, and physically forms and shapes us deeply. The key, then, is to take in what nourishes and uplifts, and use that to heal and benefit what hurts and drags down. To put it differently: Be a light in the darkness. Or, as Michael Franti sings: “This world is so messed up, but I ain’t never giving up on it. Never giving up on it. Never giving up on it!”

(We were recently on Michael’s Soulshine at Sea cruise when he sang this song.)

For my doctoral project, I studied and wrote about how we can cross our divides to move together into greater unity and flourishing as one human family. One important “datapoint” that came up over and over again was that people are potential. People are possibility. What I mean by that is there is something unwritten about each and every one of us. There is a TBD for how a person will evolve and turn out. Time and again I saw how people transcended the brutality of their lived experience—including their own cruelty—to let the inner beauty in each of us shine.

This gives me great hope.

In the beautifully uplifting way the Universe so often works, as I took a Peloton ride from Christine D’Ercole—a person who regularly moves and inspires me—she talked about the dual nature of “TBD”. While both mean to be determined; “determined” can be taken as either decided/completed/finished, or as resolute/gritty/unwavering (aka fierce). Naturally, one can also adopt both aspects of this.

In that regard, choosing fierce hope is to simultaneously recognize our individual and collective stories remain unfinished, while being unwaveringly committed to seeing it end well. It calls us to have an open heart and strong center. To be both resolute and grace-filled. In the end, fierce hope is being dedicated to seeing things through until love wins.

Beloved ones, I leave you with this blessing:

Recognizing all that is marvelous, as well as messed up, in ourselves, others, and the world. May we never give up on ourselves, others, or the world. Never.

Hugs & Love,

Lang (aka “Dr. Love”)