For a couple of years, nearly every time we asked our Alexa a question about someone famous, she’d follow up the answer with: “Do you want to know what ____ is worth?” Whether we were wondering how tall Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is, when Dave Matthews was born, or if Reese Witherspoon is married, for some strange reason, Alexa also figured we wanted to know their financial worth. We joke about it to this day.
And, I also think Alexa was onto something—even if she was misguided in equating worth with dollar-signs. I say that because: Your “worth”, as in your innate importance, matters deeply. The more inherently valuable you know yourself to be—without all your doings, achievements, finances, and possessions—the more value your life will have.
With that in mind, I wonder: What, would you say, you are worth?
After you sit with that for a moment, I invite you to ponder: How does my perceived worth impact my life?
Looking back on my life, I can see the ways that how valuable I believed myself to be deeply impacted my inner-wellness and wholeness. My lowest points in life came when I had the lowest regard for myself, and vice-versa. During one stretch of time, for instance, I wanted to die. While I wasn’t going to actively take my take my existence, I would have been quite happy to accidentally end. I remember, more than once, thinking how easy it’d be to take a sharp turn off the highway, and plummet to a fiery death.
That, and the other darkest night of my soul, came as romantic partnerships were unravelling. I point that out because:
Finding your self-worth externally, inevitably leads to you suffering internally.
That’s not to say that we don’t need one another to lift each other up, a great job is bad, or that your financial portfolio will fail you. Instead, it’s a reminder that people, institutions, and markets are fleeting, fallible, and changing. Such characteristics, do not make for a stable foundation. In short, basing your worth externally is a recipe for instability, and possibly disaster—like it was for me! Do you know what I mean?
Of course, this leads us to a bit of a conundrum. “Aren’t I somewhat fleeting, fallible, and changing, like everyone else?” You might rightfully wonder, while also asking: “So, how would finding my self-worth internally, instead of externally, make any difference?”
While I don’t know what exactly that path looks like for you, I do know my journey. What is more, I believe there are some universal principles we can all tap into.
During my second great sadness, I felt unloved and unlovable. So, I began a daily meditation practice. For five minutes each morning, before I got going, I would “sit” in the Christ’s radiant, lavish, and unconditional love. I simply let the mantra, “I am loved”, echo inside me. In other words, I went inside of me, to go outside of my little self, and to a space of transcendence. The mantra calmed and quieted my mind, while guiding me to the Truth about me.
Whether one names it the Christ, their True Self, their soul, or ______, there is a spark of light within each of us. It’s like a portal to heaven, in that it eternally knows we are valuable beyond words. No matter what. Period.
While “life” clouds and covers this brightness inside of us, which causes us to forget our worth; practices like meditation, yoga, contemplation, Thai Chi, prayer, and beyond allow us to (re)uncover our Inner Light. Author and yoga teacher Judith Hanson Lasater puts it like this:
“When carving stone, the sculptor removes everything that is not the statue. […] The art of revealing beauty lies in removing what conceals it. So, too, Patanjali [in the Yoga Sutras] tells us that wholeness exists within us. Our work is to chisel away at everything that is not essence, not Self.”
It’s also good to remember that life is a team sport. We need one another. My sister is fabulous at reminding me of my worth, and I do my best to do likewise for her. Jason Mraz has a song about how part of the human condition is that we are constantly remembering and forgetting the Truth about life, one another, and ourselves. So, while it’s important not to link our self-worth to others; it’s equally vital to keep reminding one another just how extraordinarily precious we are.
(My “You Matter!” smile)
In life we face a wide variety of “storms”. Relational, occupational, mental, financial, emotional, spiritual, and physical tempests inevitably threaten to throw us for a loop. That’s why it’s imperative—as best we can—for our worth to be tethered to Something unmovable, unconditional, and unending. If I’m fully honest, when I tune into the Inner Radiance at my center, I sometimes can’t tell whether it’s my soul, the Christ, my True Self, or the Holy Spirit … and I think that’s a good thing.
What reminds you of, and grounds you in your infinite value?
When I look back, another thing I can see is the direct relationship between how worthy I know myself to be, and how loving I am. During the seasons I felt small and inadequate, I loved others inadequately. But, when I feel my soul’s worth, love flows from me in big and beautiful ways. How about you?
With that in mind, I’d like to leave you with a blessing.
May the dawning of each day, lead you to the light at your center.
May the expansiveness of the sky, remind you of your limitless value.
May the drawing of your breath, let you know you belong.
May the smile of a stranger, be a sign of your belovedness.
And may you know in your heart, you, as you, are wealthy beyond measure.
Hugs & Love,
Lang (aka “Dr. Love”)