A Reflection on the Day I Should Have Died

In the end, love matters most.

Fifteen years ago, today, I should have died.

All these years later, it still feels unreal. Like I’m writing about someone else. Only, I’m not. Isn’t that crazy?

Now, while my main goal in writing this is to reflect a bit on what that experience taught me. First, let me paint you a little picture of where I was at in life that day, as well as what happened …

You know that bubbly feeling inside of you, when life is going fabulously? That was me, on November 10th 2008. On the other side of a divorce that had rocked my world, I was in a season of abundance. After a corresponding period of depression and devastation, I was wildly in love with, and enjoying, life. It was a time of spiritual, financial, occupational, and relational flourishing. And to top it all off, I was engaged!

My fiancée had flown down to Las Vegas from Washington state that weekend to visit with her son. So, on a lovely fall day, we went on a family friendly hike (my kiddo was only three) at Red Rock Canyon.

As we wound our way onto the top of a plateau, we saw a cave we wanted to check out. As I scoped out the best path for us to take—in a surreal chain of events—I slipped, hit hard on my bum, pitched forward, and fell thirty-feet off the cliff headfirst onto a boulder. It looked like I’d been pushed.

After getting our kids settled, my fiancée, now ex-wife, prayerfully hurried down to see my broken body lying, folded between two large rocks. As she yelled for help, which quickly started arriving, she noticed I’d stopped breathing. So, with no thought to the blood coming out of my mouth, eyes, and ears, she gave me mouth-to-mouth. She saved my life. And thought: As long as Lang gets to the hospital, he’ll be okay.

Not long later, I was airlifted to the University Medical Center. Yet, after assessing my situation, the doctor told my sister (in Washington) to hurry down there to “say your goodbyes.”

(This was me two days after the accident)

Miraculously, after two months in the ICU, and nearly four in in-patient rehab, I survived to thrive! If you’re interested in reading more about this journey, you can read all about it in my memoir, Falling into Love: The Transformative Power of Community.

So, a decade-and-a-half later I ask myself: What did this teach me? How did my accident shape me?

Seven things come to mind:

Love. Hugs. Goodbyes. Gratitude. Awe. Purpose. Communal Upward Spiral.

Not only did the love of family, friends, and strangers—from all around the world—carry me through and save me from my numerous injuries. Facing death taught me:

That, when all is said and done, nothing matters more than loving one another well.

And what better physical manifestation of love, than a good hug? When we embrace each other fully, it’s like we plug our hearts into one another and become supercharged with wholeness and fullness. It’s magical.

(This was me on December 29th)

I also find goodbyes highly meaningful now. We truly never know when the last time we’re going to see a person is, so, why not part on good terms? Do our best to leave with no regrets. Do you know what I mean? This is why I regularly tell all my family and friends, and sometimes others, “I love you” when we part. I can’t think of any better (potential) last words.

Another way to say this is, I want others to know how grateful I am for them. After all:

Gratitude is the spice of life.

Along those lines, I deeply realize the preciousness of each moment. The gift of every day. The blessing of each breath. The beauty that is all around, and within, us. And that life is an incredible miracle!

When I think of how crazy cool it is that I can reflect on all of this. When I consider that nearly every physical particle in my body is replaced every five or so years, yet I’m somehow still me. When I drink in a radiant sunset. When I soak in the healing sounds of the ocean. When I revel in the abundant sights and sounds of nature. When I marvel at the incredible diversity, yet glorious oneness and sameness of humanity. When I realize how lucky I am to be alive. I can’t help but go to a place of wonder and awe.

“This” gives me great purpose. It makes me passionate to make the most out of my life. Being caught up in the wonder and awe of life, gives laser-like focus on what matters most:

Doing life together.

Walking “hand-in-hand” with one another on the journey of life.

Lifting each other up.

Compassion.

Curiosity.

Kindness.

Acceptance.

Inclusion.

And, above all, Love.

When we live in love. When we love one another well, we create a communal upward spiral. We soar together to greater heights than we ever dreamed possible. It’s beautiful, and, on my fifteenth re-birthday, I’m here for it. I hope you are too.

Hugs & Love,

Lang (aka “Dr. Love”)